Doing What Is Best

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Doing What Is Best....

Ahhhhh.....this one is easy, isn't it? Or is it? I just had this tested as we have had to consider what is/was best for our family as a whole. We are often centered on what is best for our daughter, but that often leaves my son, myself and my husband wanting. So we had to take a long look at what is best for everyone. Some people suggested a seriously difficult decision to make that I felt might be good but might be devastating to everyone also. So we spent time, prayed and thought and talked. And we did do what was best for all.

Making a decision for your family, with a bipolar child, is difficult. It seems the bipolar child leads the family and it's decisions.

Sometimes doing what is best for your child is not best for you or for your family as a whole. Then you have to look at the long run. Is this best for the child and hurts the family in the long run? Is this best for one child and not the other? Can we make a decision that is best for both (or all) children?

But you must be willing to put yourself aside often and make a decision that is best for your child that is bipolar.

If you are like me, this can be a hard thing to do. Or you might find that you go back and forth between what's best for the child and what is best for you. Or you might go overboard and look at what is best for the child all the time leaving yourself out in the cold, as a martyr might.

Balance is important. What is best for all might be what is ok for one in the family, sort of ok for another and really good for another. Every decision can't be for the sake of the bipolar child. But often they seem to rule the roost!

You have to be willing to put your needs aside often to raise a bipolar child to their highest potential.

But you can't put your needs aside always. Don't forget about yourself and your spouse. Be willing to use babysitters and grandparents and family and friends to get some relief from the day to day difficulties of this task. But also, be willing to sit in a doctor's office entertaining your other children for the sake of reaching stability for your child.

Be aware of the sacrifices you make. Don't push them aside. But also, take note of the progress your child makes daily, weekly, monthly. Take pleasure in this progress every step of the way. Pat yourself on the back. Congratulate yourself every time your child says "Hey mom I did it!".

Take credit where credit is due. You make sacrifices for this child and their accomplishments are just as much yours as theirs!

But you do have to be willing to do whatever it takes to help your child. And we all do it everyday, even moms of "normal" children make this sacrifice daily!



We are all angels!

As we make our sacrifices for our children.....driving to doctors and therapists, homeschooling, dolling out meds, watching as meds are taken, holding our tongue when we want to yell and scream, taking the blows (physical and emotional)......we are angels for our children.

Always remember what you are doing for your child is for everyone else too. For your child's future, their well being, their stability you can and will do what you need to do.


What Can You do for Yourself?

You must take care of yourself so you CAN take care of your child. Here are a few suggestions:

  • See a therapist. Either see your child's therapist for some time during your child's appointment, or find your own therapist. Raising a bipolar child brings up our own issues, brings on new ones, and demands our stability......get help for yourself!

  • Don't isolate yourself! You have to get out and your child needs to get out of the house too. Form a homeschooling group park day (or find one in your city). See friends with kids that can play with your child. Get out of the house and have some fun.

  • Keep your relationship with your spouse strong. You need to feed your relationship with your spouse or significant other to keep it healthy. You need this relationship, and it's so easy to let it go and totally focus on the child. Go out on dates, find someone to baby sit. Even if you have to go out during the day on weekends to get a it!



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Last updated: 08/31/06.